It’s been a while. A very long while. Life is good and God has blessed me far more than I deserve. My heart is heavy right now and I really just feel like writing right now.
I’ve been thinking a lot about healing lately. God is so wonderful in that he provides us with all kinds of healings, even still today. Miraculous healings are not just a thing of the past, they still happen today. Healing comes with faith. The two are interlocked. It breaks my heart to see people give up the will to live. Granted, I am not judging those who do. I hope I would not ever do that, but in certain situations and after so much suffering, it would probably be hard not to. But to see people lose hope completely, absolutely breaks me. I hate sitting back, being so helpless. It’s like all I want to do is have enough faith to make someone better. I want to have enough faith to heal someone and take their pain away. It’s so hard, knowing it is their faith, not mine that is required. Don’t get me wrong, praying for people helps, but it gets me thinking that maybe I’ve been praying the wrong things. I just wish sometimes I could give my faith to people, just so they can see how awesome and wonderful God really is and how much he wants to do for them.
I’ve also been thinking a lot about selfishness. I can be such a selfish person, I know I can. It’s something I need to work on too. Today I had the realization that the things I am selfish and selfless about are very weird and almost backwards. I would give my life to heal a stranger and teach them about Jesus but I get irritated when my mom asks me to take out the garbage. It’s the little things like that that get me thinking. As a Christian my goal is to strive to be like Jesus. I want to be Christ-like and selfless in my ways. So why I am being selfish and holding myself back with the little things? Especially with little things that take up 3 minutes of my time. I need to learn to serve those around me. It astonishes me how easy it is for me to go out and serve complete strangers that I don’t even know but if a parent or roommate asks me to do the dishes I throw a fit or avoid doing it. What happened to loving others and serving others? If it’s someone I care about I should want to serve them even more than I want to serve a complete stranger, not less. It’s crazy.
It’s time to get refocused on things here. It’s time to get priorities straightened and it’s time to serve the living God through serving selflessly those around me.
